...That's the subtitle under the section of Acts 2:14-41 in my Bible. So simple a description for what must have been an unbelievable moment. How could you describe a violent wind, tongues of fire, languages spoken but you never knew or studied them...?
Peter - recently restored from sinful denials on a tender shoreline with Jesus - fulfills Jesus' call to 'Feed my lambs' (John 21) by explaining the miraculous. Confident, Peter says to those gathered that what they had just seen was like what the Prophet Joel had described: in the last days, God will pour out His Spirit on all people, and they will see visions, dream dreams, prophesy, "and everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved" (Acts 2:21).
I feel it in my bones. It's the same today. On Sundays when we're baptizing 16 people on a given morning- Holy Spirit is in the room. When I see personal prayer dreams answered, and connections made in my own ministry that only God could orchestrate - Holy Spirit is being poured out. When I'm in the baptism pool, and I see weeping tears of new life mingle with the water - Holy Spirit is on the move.
And I confess, I find myself wrestling with it all, desperately seeking some Peter-confidence to explain it all.
Honestly, I'm just finding myself fearful in different ways.
On one hand, sometimes I feel so full of Him, I can barely breathe. What mere human can be in such intimacy with the Divine? To see Him move so undeniably? To know these divine moments of ministry had nothing to do with - indeed was done in spite of - me and my sinful state is a humbling thing. All you can do is worship in awe... and, honestly, a new "fear of the Lord" is an apt description; I stand in awe of Who I cannot explain. He alone is Holy. My plans pale in comparison to the way He moves me, the way He moves others around me, the way He moves for His own glory and no one else's.
At other times, I confess I feel a different kind of fear - real and palpable. When He is moving so strongly, the enemy is coming at me the strongest he perhaps ever has, and in new and unexpected ways I find I don't yet have tools to fight. In this new ministry, a handmaiden preparing His Bride for His return, I am forging new weapons seconds before I need to use them. And it's all happening in the cliched "battlefield of the mind." Lies, all of them. But so ,so strong that I am saddened at my weakness. the enemy knew root sins and he found a way to expose and exploit them...
But these words are me trying to fight fear tonight.
There's a reason those in the Bible, when faced with angelic messengers or Jesus' transfigured state, fell to the ground in fear. This is a right response. What else is there to do when faced with teh Almighty? I shouldn't fight it, but surrender to it. And, honestly, ask for more of these encounters... lean into the holy unexpectedness of His Spirit.
And I know my enemy is not one to fear. This fight is worth those pure and precious things that are mine now, and it is worth whatever pure and precious things will be. I know that the future is unbelievable. I find myself praying for and anticipating revival - real and true revival - with a faith I can all but see. He's bringing a revolution, and He has called me to it.
Lord, help me run the race marked out for me, disciplining my body, my spirit. This is not shadowboxing, but true toe-to-toe spiritual warfare, as Paul said. Please help me not be disqualified.
I want to see thousands come to know You, Jesus. (Acts 2:41) Thousands of sinners and outcasts like me. Those who followed You when You walked this earth, because You loved them most of all.
And I want to be there, in the middle of it. Swept up into the violent wind, tongues ablaze. Let it be. Amen.
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