I'm learning so much about freedom. God, in His amazing love, has initiated a sting operation of my heart. He has burst in the doors of my heart, took my hand, and is leading me to safety and freedom. At first, I've resented it. It's so different and painful and confusing. And yet, the more time that goes on, the more I come to Him grateful. I'm seeing the fruit of trusting Him in these deep ways. Though costly, it's starting to feel like joy.
This week, I went to the ER to bring a woman from a domestic violence situation into freedom. She had come to church the day before and I presented her options - we can leave today to safety, or take these cards and call these numbers when you're ready to go. One of them had my cell. She wasn't ready that morning, and my heart dropped (and, I confess, was cynical too. After 20+ years of abuse, this felt like one drop in a very deep bucket). But then, the next afternoon, a call and a text that said she was packing her bags.
Late that night, after checking her into the hotel and driving home, I thought of what she had just done.
God wants to rescue, but we have to be the ones to speak up, to step out, to claim it. Just like crossing the Jordan, sometimes it takes our first step for waters to part.
When I presented her options, we both knew the best option. But I couldn't make the decision for her. She had to choose. She had to move. She had to decide.
So do I. So do you.
Freedom in Christ, in relationships, in situations starts with Him. He initiated the rescue when He died for our sins. But we have to choose. We have to move. We have to decide.
I'm floored. It sounds so silly, but I have never really internalized this before. Sometimes I have called out to Him, "Rescue me," "Fight for me." I want Him to ride in on a white horse and save. And He does. He can. Psalm 18 describes it. He is a mighty God who saves.
But sometimes, when we are ready, His freedom plan has to involve us. At some point, He has done all He can; salvation is through nothing we could do in and of ourselves. But after salvation, for deeper levels of freedom or healing, it's often up to us to partner with Him in it.
No differently than this lady, I have to choose freedom. The Holy Spirit gives us the courage to speak up, to move. It can feel scary, different. But the freedom on the other side is worth it.
But there will be opposition. Twice this week, from two different people I respect who wouldn't have known all that was stirring in my heart, I've been warned that there will be opposition and attack - from those outside and inside the church - as I seek to shepherd those still enslaved to their abusive pasts, or rally community organizations to come together for one cause. My Sunday morning Bible study girls and I are studying Acts, and it is full of stories of this. The Holy Spirit is showing me Paul's fortitude in the face of opposition - both from ones in the church who wanted to put yokes not of Him on those new to the faith, or from non-believers who ran them out of town. "Full of the Holy Spirit," Paul would look opposition in the face and tell it off. Full of the Holy Spirit!
I'm learning it's not wrong to tell opposition - in whatever form - where to go.
And He's getting me ready to partner with Him. To speak up. To step out. To claim it.
I've been praying through starting a support group for women who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse, sexual trauma, and trafficking. I've been researching for months. I'm slated to launch it at the end of the month. And it feels so sacred. So holy. As it gets closer, I feel the spiritual weight of shepherding well. Who am I to lead this group, to hold these hearts?
John 10 is the beautiful passage about Jesus as the Good Shepherd. He keeps giving it to me to soak in. And I've always thought it was about how the enemy is the one who seeks to kill, and steal, and destroy (John 10:10). And that's not untrue. But in context, He was also speaking to the Pharisees about the false shepherds in the church. Those, Ezekiel 34 speaks of, who shepherded for their own selfish gain.
He is developing my core spiritual muscles to protect and shepherd the sheep He's entrusted to me well. From those outside and inside.
To speak up. To step out. To claim it. In Jesus' name.
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